I?ve always been an amazing judge of character, but haven?t always made the best decisions as far as relationships and friendships go. I got married at a young age to escape the stress I was under at home, and when that relationship failed I waited a while but got into another toxic relationship. Lots of people talk about abusive relationships, toxic relationships, etc but rarely do I see anything about toxic friendships and I think they are pretty common because any time I mention my situation, the person I?m speaking with always has their own (similar) story to tell.
I met this friend a few years ago because we had a few things in common. I have never been too social or outgoing, so to have someone that I ?clicked? with was great. Over the past few years, I?ve gotten upset with this friend numerous times and tried to stop talking to them, but it seems like we always cross paths again. We live close to each other so it?s bound to happen, but I guess I just think about the ?good? times we had and I forget about all the bad, and I go back. It sounds like an abusive relationship when I think about it.
{9 Signs Your Friendship is Toxic}
This friend only calls or texts me when it?s convenient for her. If she needs something, she calls. If she doesn?t, I won?t hear from her for a while. I think the part that bothers me the MOST is that when we see each other in public, she acts like she doesn?t even know me. After everything I?ve done to help her out ? I?m very helpful by nature, sometimes to a fault ? I would think she?d at least say hi, but it never happens. And when I ask her about it, she says she didn?t see me. I?m the only 6?2? woman in the store ? I promise you saw me when I walked right in front of you. Used to, I?d go out of my way to say hi to her and try to chat with her, but she would just be stuck up and keep on walking. Or if nobody was around she?d say ?hi? quickly and walk off.
{All 5 Warning Signs are THERE that this is a toxic friendship! Scary!}
She?s never happy for me. Anything I accomplish she?s just like ?oh, cool? but I get REALLY excited for her even when she accomplishes something small. I?ve helped her out with a lot of things (not getting specific as this is not a ?call out? post to her), and she?s done little in return. Any time she helps me with even the smallest thing, she holds it over my head for weeks. It?s insane now that I?m writing all of this out. Why in the heck have I not ended this friendship sooner?? Because it?s toxic and that?s how these types of friendships work. :(
I?ve tried to discuss this with her, and let her know how it hurts my feelings, but any time I do she just ignores me. I?ve accepted this person, flaws and all, and figured she did the same with me ? but it seems like she?s embarrassed to be my friend unless it?s convenient for her. She?s not any richer or prettier than I am. She doesn?t have any big connections that would make her have a big head. She?s just stuck up and I?m sick of trying to build a friendship with her. It?s been years now and she still does the same things.
{15 Signs it?s Time to Break Up With A Toxic Friend}
Cutting ties with a toxic friend is hard, though, because they make you feel like they weren?t ignoring you ? or they weren?t avoiding you ? they were just ?busy?. Or they will call you and need you, making you feel important and cared about, and you forget how big of a jerk they were the week before. It?s important to cut ties with a toxic friend for many reasons, but my main reason is for my kids. They see me get so upset over this situation, but I go right back. Over and over again. If they think that is okay, if I raise them thinking that is normal, they are going to think abusive relationships are normal. They?re going to think toxic friendships are normal.
{Value yourself more than your toxic friend does. End the friendship now.}
If you?re reading this and can relate, it?s time to cut ties. This person may be one of your only friends, or it may be convenient to be friends with them because you see each other often, or you may feel like they will be really rude if you cut ties ? but it has to be done. Gather up the strength and write them a letter or visit them and let them know why you?re ending the friendship. Be nice but firm. Let them know you expect them to respect your decision, you wish them the best of luck, etc but for your own sanity, you have to cut ties. Hopefully they will understand that and move on to their next ?friend? that they want to treat like crap.
More Resources
Have you ever had a toxic friendship? What did you do about it?
Source: http://slapdashmom.com/what-do-you-do-about-a-toxic-friendship/
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